I woke up in the morning and pressed play on this rouge affirmations episode on Spotify and listen to the robotic woman talking through affirmations. I started doing this a few months ago in Aus when I was visiting and it’s become a habit. I don’t know if it’s working, but I guess it’s not harming?
I go to the kitchen, and my sister is there eating her morning oats. She’s already made a coffee. I’m about to drink a huge glass of water and have Wellness Formula. 4 big tablets. Down the hatch. I make a coffee and join her at the table. She says she’s feeling a little tickle in her throat. She says she’s not sick but she’s not 100%. I’ve also been feeling a little off this week and not 100%. I remind her to manage her stress and anxiety, that it has an affect on your immune system.
She fills me in on her recent acupuncture appointment. She says that one of the remedies the guy gave her was to sing and dance more. I connect my phone to the speaker and ask her what song she wants to sing. She’s packing to go to the airport and clearly has other things on her mind. I say “You need to take this SERIOUSLY! This matters as much as Ibuprofen or Lemsip”. She knows this, but I’m impatient and want her to choose a song because I want her to feel better and we only have 15 minutes to do karaoke before the car comes. I choose “If you could read my mind” and we’re singing along. It’s 6am and I’m thinking…this is so fun! I feel so silly. This is something I wouldn’t usually share with anyone. It feels like we’re doing something naughty. Like it’s not “normal” or “allowed” to sing karaoke at 6am on a Saturday morning.
And then I think, who made the rule 1) that normal looks like X and 2) I can’t sing at 6am on Saturday morning?
There are so many rules in my brain. This is what good looks like, this is what bad looks like. This is professional, this is unprofessional. This is what will make you money, this is what will cost you a job. This is right, this is wrong.
And at no point here am I feeling: What does good FEEL like, and what does bad FEEL like? What does professional FEEL like and what does unprofessional FEEL like? I spend so much time in the front of my brain that I’ve found I need to make a conscious decision to sit back, take a beat, and feel.
It logically SOUNDS crazy to do karaoke at 6am on a Saturday and it’s not for everyone, but it’s clearly for me. It felt good. I felt good. It was FUN. It was silly and dumb and fun. It didn’t make sense, it served no purpose other than making me feel silly, and joyful and happy and connected.
It’s easy to lose sight of joy as we grow up. I don’t have kids but I have a niece and nephew and when I’m around them I truly feel lighter. They fart and then smile at me with a cheeky grin. They ask me to play this horrible gummy bear song and do roly polys on my yoga mat.
Normal is what you make it. Embracing all sides and parts of you is the truest form of expression and liberation. That’s who I’m here to be and what I’m here to do, and hopefully encourage you to join me in the process.
Happy Saturday.
Lots of love as always,
Tish xxxxxxx
Love everything about this!