Bits + Pieces 098
The Shifts That Have Shaped Me
I’ll never forget sitting on the stoop of our old apartment in Brooklyn years ago and sobbing in my hands. “What’s the matter” she said. “I feel trapped. I hate my body, I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop thinking about how fat I am. I hate myself. I’m miserable, and I don’t know what to do”. I didn’t know it then, but that was the day my life started to shift. I’d been holding that secret inside of me every day until that morning in 2017.
I didn’t know a version of myself that wasn’t worried about how I looked, what I was eating or what I was drinking. I’d be worried to travel because of what food would be there or that I couldn’t exercise. I’d skip meals, drink too much, and lean into vices to numb the underlying unhappiness I felt about myself. I didn’t think I was beautiful. I diverted any compliments and I masked my feelings with being the happy, smiley and light hearted one.
When I moved to London and we went into lockdown, I remember seeing a homeopath and telling her “the measurement of my success is determined by the size of my waist”. This is when my healing journey began and I’ve been on it ever since.
“Your business is here to heal you” my coach said.
When I look back, all roads have led me to where I am now. Without healing my relationship with myself and my body, I don’t think I’d have the capacity to hold a business. To hold the uncertainty of money in the early days. Navigate creating new offers, selling in those offers, building teams, leading teams, creating content, and growing communities. The shift started when I said the scary thing, and admitted that I wasn’t happy, but what followed was a series of shifts that have changed my life, and helped me feel more of life, and taste what home feels like—the space inside my heart.
From invisible to authenticity
“Tish, you need to tell people you’re open to work. How will they hire you if they don’t know you’re available?” my therapist said, as I shared my empty calendar with her.
I was new to freelancing and petrified of being “me” online. It feels wild to think about now, but I used to freeze when writing or posting anything online — let alone about work, or the fact that I didn’t have a full roster of clients.
I thought if I said I was available, it meant I was shit. Because if I was amazing, I’d be fully booked, right?
Mind you, this was just three months into going solo. I have so much love and empathy for that version of Tish. She tried so hard to be someone else that she withheld her gifts and power from the people who needed her the most.
That day, with the help of a friend, I posted my first face-to-camera video on Instagram and a callout on LinkedIn.
These days content is my favourite thing about my business. I love sharing stories in ways that move people. I love performing on camera, writing online, scripting videos, and testing new messaging.
I may not be a traditional artist, but content is how I express myself.
Visibility and authenticity are my superpowers—and how I’m building a legacy I’m proud of.
From pain to peace
I cried myself to sleep. I knew it was over. My body hurt. My stomach felt hollow. I was drunk and overwhelmed. In the fetal position, hugging myself, rocking, crying into the sheets. The pain of losing someone you love is like no other. Maybe because I’d never really allowed myself to feel love before — An excerpt from a piece I wrote after a loss.
I left a voice note to my friends, crying, and asking what to do. I’d never felt heartbreak like that before. My friend told me to be with the feelings, as they came up, as they washed over me, and passed. It was at this time that I began a journey of exploration through my feelings on a somatic level. I started ecstatic dance, as a way to access, release, and work through the pain I was feeling. My eyes would close, I’d move my hips and arms to the music. Tears would stream down my face and after, I’d feel a deep sense of relief, like a blanket of calm spread over me.
Over the coming months, things started to shift. Night time became easier, I started to socialise more, and the fog seemed to lift.
I also started to show up differently in my business. I created Clarity Coach (which became my signature offer) and began serving clients more deeply than ever before. The programme started selling itself.
I realised: the biggest shifts come from doing the inner work. Creating from your truth. Staying close to your purpose and your “why.”
Choosing to move through the grief gave me peace. And that peace became the foundation of my next chapter.
From fear to love
“There’s only two things: fear or love,” a client once said to me on a Clarity Call.
We were talking about the paralysis that comes from posting online—something I knew well.
When you’re in fear, your vibration is low. You’re constricted. The flow of energy and abundance can’t move through you.
Fear says: you’re not good enough.
Fear says: someone’s already doing it better.
Fear says: you have nothing valuable to say.
I knew I couldn’t grow from that place. I needed a shift.
That shift came through faith.
My relationship with faith has always been evolving. I was raised Catholic, in a “woo woo” household full of personal growth books. I rejected all of it in my teens (classic). I needed freedom.
I was the adventurous one. I worked, traveled, and floated through life with a “everything works out for me” energy. But starting my business cracked me open. I felt exposed. I was scared to be seen. Terrified of looking like a try-hard.
I knew creativity was the key—but I couldn’t access it from fear.
Through exploring spirituality again, I found love. And through love, I found flow.
Love became the vessel for creative energy.
Love brought people together.
Love helped me connect to my inner compass.
These days, in times of turbulence, I come back to love. It grounds me. It helps me show up, for my clients, my work, and myself.
From stuck to free
Five years in London felt sticky.
I’d moved with excitement, but the city didn’t meet me the way I’d hoped. Still, it gave me something even more valuable, time with myself. Space to start my business.
Those five years were hard. But they made me. I wouldn’t be who I am without them. That resilience is something I lean on every day as a business owner.
I shifted out of victim mode. I started taking radical responsibility.
I forgave myself for staying too long. I made the plan to move back to New York—and followed through. Even though I was scared. Even though I didn’t know if it would “work.”
“Our most challenging experiences are invitations to go deeper. Life is happening for us, not to us.”
Seeing London as part of my story—part of the making of me—shifted everything. I let go of regret. I came back to power.
That energy helped me rebuild in NYC. Grow my business. Get back in the driver’s seat.
Thanks for reading this week’s post <3 It’s a vulnerable share, but I hope it touched something in you. If you’re in a season of transition, confusion, or growth, I’m in it with you. You got this. xxxxxxx
If this resonated and you’re curious to go deeper with me, enrollment is open for my new group programme, The Shift.
It’s for women in business who are ready to:
Grow with clarity
Be supported by a like-hearted community
Play BIG and build something deeply aligned
The Shift: Details
🪐 3-month group container starting April 23
🪐 Weekly Zoom calls
🪐 3 IRL meetups (for NYC-based folks)
🪐 Telegram group support
🪐 AI workshops and trainings
🪐 Brand, marketing, sales and content strategy trainings
Early bird: $999/month (until April 16th), Regular: $1,500/month. 3 payments total.
That was BEAUTIFUL Tish. Would love to read into more details how you healed your relationship to food/excercise as it seems healthy (from the outside).
So beautiful Tishy 💕